Love Letter I Wrote for My Friend

Rory Hawkins


At the [REDACTED] ball, we kept running into each other in the men’s toilets.

(Context: there wasn’t enough room in the women’s for an attendance of like 1,000 with about 7 – 3 women to men ratio, so go figure, the men’s just became mixed.)

You said you’re studying something like Movement & Nutrition – really close to Physiology but not exactly that. You said you played rugby or AFL during high school – that’s what made you so interested in going on to study that at uni. Made me wonder what you were doing at the [REDACTED] ball – but then I didn’t really know what I was doing there either.

I remember standing above the stage, looking down, and drunkenly wondering to myself what would happen if I jumped. I just ended up wanting to leave, and when I did, there you were, doing the same. And if I’d thought less, I don’t know what would have happened, when the Uber stopped outside your place and you asked me if I wanted to come in.

You know when you feel like you need to deserve something, even when it’s right there in front of you? Just because you don’t think you put as much effort into something as you could’ve.

Ends up you’re denying what comes naturally. 

If I’m lucky (or unlucky, depending on your perspective) I might live 90 years, and I don’t want to count how many hours, and all those hours I’ll forget, and yet right now I just have this feeling that my mind won’t let what felt like on-off 20 minutes and an Uber talking to you so easily slip away.

I figure it’s such a loose, little fragment of my life to get caught on, so why?

Why that?

Why not?

What do you fancy more: coffee or bubble tea?

Since you got me a discounted fare, I’m paying in full this time.


P.S. Can we all admit those watered-down mimosas really sucked?

Rory is an English/Irish-grown & Meanjin/Brisbane-based first year Creative Writing student, aspiring writer/editor, and all round amazing person. You can find more of his work in the fourth, fifth, and sixth issues of ScratchThat, and poetry in Blue Bottle Journal and the latest issue of Inkblot Magazine, Cold & Soggy 2021. He is also on Instagram.