Amelie Meinel
[In Response to Miltdown by Ruby Stevens]
There’s something living inside me
it has no name
I fear that giving it one will give it power.
It seethes in my veins like lightning,
a murderous tempest in my skull.
It’s ants burrowing beneath my skin,
fizzing in my brain like bees
It’s that moment,
when I hurl myself from a cliff.
My stomach bulldozing into my lungs,
wind in my ears like the agonised cry of a lion.
The water is still so far away.
Now it’s too close.
I hit the water with a violent crack.
The ocean never means to hurt anyone,
it’s much like me in that regard.
It pitches from my mouth like sulphur,
a candlestick in my throat.
Like mentos in a coke bottle,
an egg erupting in the microwave.
This thing that lives inside me
makes the rage and hatred of hell
seem like the kiss of summer.
It can only be chained, contained.
I can’t escape it,
it lives where I live.