Fairy Godmother for Hire

Semester 1 2024 Content Team

Profile: Stypahorklikson1| Rating: ★☆☆☆☆
SCAM. I wished for One Direction to buy me. I am now legally owned by Simon Cowell and earn my living holding up ‘APPLAUD NOW’ signs for the Britain’s Got Talent audience. Harry Styles, if you are reading this, please send help.  


Profile: T3amJacob4Eva | Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆
I thought this was a scam, so I wished that my favourite movie, Twilight, was real. It hasn’t stopped raining and Robert Pattinson keeps staring at me. I’m afraid he can read my mind and all I keep thinking is ‘You’d better hold on tight, spider monkey.’

Profile: shr00ms_ |Rating: ★★★★★
I wished for endlessssss magic shroomies. That’s what I got. This Fairy G is a lad.


Profile: Clever_Girl|Rating: ★☆☆☆☆
I wished for Jurassic Park to be real and was VERY specific that the dinosaurs would not be able to kill anyone. I was thinking incredible security or something, NOT that the park would be the size of my lawn and filled with micro raptors. Extremely unsatisfying outcome.


Profile: Dog_Lover_12|Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆
My cheeks haven’t stopped aching from smiling. I went to my grandma’s funeral the other day and I was laughing throughout the entire thing. Do you realise how fucked up that is?? My dog is sick and I’m happy about it. This Fairy granted me the wish of hell. DO NOT contact him!!   


Profile: NightOwl.274| Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆
I wished for unlimited motivation. I am no longer able to sleep.

Profile: Moss.is.cool.34| Rating: ★☆☆☆☆
If my boyfriend doesn’t move out in the next few days I’m going to lose it. We were in a long-distance relationship and had never really spent a full night together. I wished for him to move in with me. Turns out… he snores. Like, a LOT a lot. The glass of water beside my bed rattles when he sleeps!! He leaves the toilet seat up, he doesn’t do the dishes, he recycles his dirty underwear. I’m going insane here. I just broke up with him, but he refuses to leave. I’m half considering making a second wish just to have him gone.  


Profile: user167539946625899036| Rating: ★☆☆☆☆
So I wished for photographic memory, right? Now I can only remember things that I’ve taken photos of. Which sucks, you know, cause the only reason I remember this encounter with the Fairy Godmother is because she/he posed for a stupid photo before vanishing!

Profile: Cadbury_Freak | Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆
I asked the Fairy Godmother to grant me unlimited chocolate. He turned my house and everything in it into chocolate and now it’s all melting. I’m going to have no assets soon. All I wanted was unlimited blocks of Cadbury.  


Profile: cawwum26 | Rating: ★★★★★
I’ve always wanted a good, sturdy belt. They all seem to break so easily. So I wished for one, and I’m not disappointed. Ms Godmother told me it’d have the stamina and the tightness for what I need. And it does. Such a good boy—I mean, good belt.

Profile: I_Offed_My_Skink | Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆
Send help—my friend is a dragon. We found the Fairy Godmother and my friend instantly wished for a dragon. I tried to stop him, but now he’s ten feet tall and covered in scales. Someone tell me what to do! I don’t want this responsibility! 







This collaborative project, created by the Content Team of Scratch That for Semester 1, 2024, was first published in the 2024 Winter Zine on the 31st of May. Involved authors include E. L. Maloney (she/her), Dylan Oliver, Tuesday Tomlins (she/her), Mia Paton (she/her), Verity Rose (she/they), Taylor Dusina (she/her), and Phoenix Sunrider (they/she). Read their previous works published across the semester.


E. L. Maloney, Tuesday Tomlins, and Phoenix Sunrider illustrated the extra visuals used throughout the piece.


Fran Hitzke (she/her), who designed the Fairy Godmother art, is a Visual Artist working and learning in Meanjin. Her current practice examines the solitude of the human condition, particularly the concept of subjectivity of experience: where our circumstances, upbringing, and perspectives guide us to feel that what we undergo during our life is distinct and isolating.

Fran’s compositions include everyday items displayed in a discarded, dismantled, or altered manner, enhancing the symbolic undertone we apply to physical belongings. She utilises both text and conceptual titles as a bridge to resolve the belief that personal tribulations are more exclusive than they truly are. The intention of her work is to visually demonstrate the universality of personal subjectivity and actively combat the individual concealment of harmful interactions or incidents.


Artist Erin McKenna (she/her) created the thumbnail art. Inspired by childhood classics such as Shirley Barber, Monster High Dolls, and Sailor Moon, McKenna aims to create whimsical, ethereal, and uncanny contemporary artwork. She mainly works in a digital space and discusses her personal experiences with mental and physical health, sexuality and liberation, and her relationship with her body.


Find our authors and artists on social media!
E.L. Maloney: @loriciawrites
Mia Paton: @_miapaton
Phoenix Sunrider: @jazmindoesart
Fran Hitzke: @hotzkeart
Erin McKenna: @erinxisobel