Undelivered

you were there, watching me with a smile, asking to hold my hand

i’m not sure if i miss that

if i miss you how i should miss someone i was supposed to be in love with

i think i do

maybe

all i know is that there is an ache somewhere in my body

and you might be the cause

sometimes it hurts so bad that i imagine you’ve settled behind my ribs

that you’re just chipping away at my lungs

to be fair, the ache could be from exhaustion

i don’t remember how to sleep anymore

it sounds stupid, i know

you always got so upset when i didn’t look after myself

i don’t know why it mattered

i don’t think i’ve mattered for a long time

long before you came along, at least

i mean, i was fine

am fine

i killed your plant, by the way

it was an accident

sorry

i haven’t been able to drag myself out of bed to water it

it’s kind of funny, you know, being in bed but not being able to sleep

lol

it’s just

hmm

it’s all just gotten to be a bit too much, you know?

i also think i killed off any friendship i’ve ever had

i don’t think i’m built for company

i think you were the last friend i had left

i’m not sure if i actually know how to love someone

i think i’ve been pretending for a long time

i’ve fooled myself into thinking that i can love

you know, gotta fit in with society and all that lol

it’s not that funny, actually

maybe i am as empty as they come

i think i was made wrong

i don’t think i work properly

i’m so tired

i want to sleep

but i’m scared if i close my eyes, i’ll be forced to see you again

i’m so, so tired*” typed_speed=”50″ thb_animated_color=”#000000″]

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